Hello hello,
I love this question! Are you satisfiable? It one thousand percent made me stop in my tracks. I had a conversation over lunch at my husband’s office last week that immediately came to mind when I heard this question. We’ve lived in San Jose, CA for two years now, and at lunch, I was telling him it’s time for us to double down on the possibility of an international work assignment. I have all the reasons why now is the time (mostly related to the kids’ ages…), but I have to also be honest with myself. We have 3 little kids and have moved 3 times in the last 6 years… I’m feeling a very real itch about the next move. Heaven forbid we just chill for a minute! [I have to also acknowledge the extremely privileged environment within which I brought up this topic which adds to the context of this question. We were eating healthy, free food while our kids were at school/daycare, and our jobs allowed us the flexibility to eat a meal together. WHAT ELSE ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?!?! How could one not be satisfied in this situation?] Why do I seek the impossible challenge of uprooting our tribe and re-establishing ourselves in a new place?! It’s like the minute life doesn’t feel utterly chaotic is the minute I need a change. I feel a serious pull to experience as much as this world has to offer no matter how difficult it is. #fomo I’ll go even further – the minute it starts to feel slightly manageable, I’m drawn to seek out the more difficult route. #nothingaboutmylifeismanageable
Here’s the podcast episode that led me to this beautiful question:
How many of us have checklists in our head that relate to external validation / external status? And, it’s not necessarily a bad thing! We’re evolutionarily wired to operate this way. We inherently believe that the more we achieve, the more valuable we are to our tribe. But, achievement is subjective especially when we try to reconcile our evolutionary wiring with the definition of success in today’s society.
Some of us are inherently wired to constantly challenge and strive and see how far we can go (whatever that means). I think there is research showing we all have a different physiological response to dopamine, and some people need a bigger thrill to get a decent dopamine dump. I even heard that immigrants to America, as a collective group, score higher on this thrill-seeking continuum. Makes you wonder if present-day America is built on dopamine-seeking genetics! Check out Dopamine Nation by Anna Lembke, or this podcast episode:
https://armchairexpertpod.com/pods/anna-lembke )
Hmmm.. so how does one get a lab report about their own dopamine uptake response? Asking for a friend ; )
Do I wish I was more satisfiable? Or do I like my perceived lack of satisfaction? How does one answer this question? It feels analogous to being on our death beds and answering ‘what do you regret?’ It’s impossible to know until you can survey the whole journey. So, my conclusion – Be unsatisfiable. Seek it all, strive for something new, lead with curiosity, do NOT take the easy path.
Talk soon,
Jessica
#blacklivesmatter #courageourconversation #powertoprivilege
PS Obsessed:
https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=peru+ed+sheeran