Hello hello,
I’m having big feelings/thoughts on intent vs. impact when it comes to microaggressions and classism/sexism/racism thanks to this awesome DEI program at work where small groups meet monthly for 2 years to discuss topics like unconscious bias, systemic racism, and gender disparity within the workplace. We rotate who facilitates the conversation each month, and there’s a handbook and pre-work and slides already prepared for participants. Seriously, it’s amazing. In a recent session, we were discussing what it looks like to be an advocate and the difference between our intentions vs the impact of our actions. (Cliff notes: your intention doesn’t matter. If the impact of your language, behaviors, actions is negative you’re accountable for the situation.) This got me thinking (shocking). The program introduced the term ‘benevolent sexism’, and honestly, I couldn’t really move on from that language. Can you imagine what a pain it is to be in a group like this with me…? Insufferable.
I just can’t stand this term – benevolent sexism. The example was – a new mother returns to work after maternity leave, and her manager gives her a lightened workload while she adjusts without asking her. Ok. But, we all might do the same with a male employee coming back from medical leave – so what would we call that?
In the middle of this discussion, I got lost in my own thought experiment around intent vs. ignorance. I totally understand there might be a disconnect between our intentions and the impact of our actions. But, how much of that disconnect do we chalk up to ignorance… and at what point should we stop accepting systemic ignorance as an excuse for perpetuating systemic sexism/classism/racism? As I unintelligently tried to articular this burgeoning thought, I was met with a very real counterargument which was – we have to ‘give space/allow’ people the opportunity to make mistakes and ask questions in order to grow! Great – ok. But, can’t we have a minimum bar for how much grace we give people vs. what we expect them to figure out on their own? And, I’m just now realizing that this fine line of what one gets a ‘pass’ on and what’s outright unacceptable totally depends! [Duh] It depends not just on the era / current cultural climate but also on the individual. Not to mention, that line is constantly moving – there’s no better place to observe this than stand up comedy over the last few years. Stand up is maybe our most accurate barometer of the broader culture’s viewpoint on so many charged topics. It’s the familiar “push the envelope without getting canceled” balance. Anyway, I’m veering off topic per usual.
I’m sure there are podcasts about this topic, but I’m too overwhelmed with my existing 12 weekly episodes so I can’t commit to finding/listening to something else right now!
#courageousconversations #powertoprivilege #blacklivesmatter
Talk soon,
Jessica
PS Insider tip – we should all most definitely be investing in hearing aid companies.