I started a weekly diversity and inclusion email with my team at work after the murder of George Floyd. That email has turned into this blog. The purpose is to share my personal commentary on content that aims to push racial equality forward.
I'm from the Midwest but currently living in the Bay Area. I'm married to a black man and have 3 biracial sons. I work in corporate America for a company exploring its own diversity and inclusion journey. For all of these reasons and many others, I'm compelled to explore my whiteness. Spoiler alert: some of it is messy and dicey and uncomfortable and vulnerable...
Happy Juneteenth and Father’s Day weekend! The recognition of Juneteenth as a Federal holiday is very exciting and feels like a tangible change spurred by George Floyd’s murder. At the same time, Trevor Noah comically pointed out the ironic part about the creation of this holiday: there are 15 states that still outlaw teaching critical race theory in school. As Trevor puts it, “You can have the day off but you can’t know why” #progressisslow
There are a couple podcasts that have me totally fan-girling over here! They include a cross-over of people I love. The first is a new series on Pushkin called Be AntiRacist with Ibram X. Kendi. Malcolm + Ibram = <3 <3 <3 Here’s the Juneteenth episode: Be Antiracist with Ibram X. Kendi: The Juneteenth Mixtape on Apple Podcasts
Side note – I think my youngest kid looks just like Malcolm Gladwell… Evidence:
Twins
The second episode that I am currently obsessed with is Race at Work with Porter Braswell featuring Stephen Satterfield (the host of High on the Hog)! High on the Hog’s Stephen Satterfield: The Power of Black Storytelling (hbr.org) The emotional conversation between these guys is beautiful and really highlights the impact of the docuseries. I hope the wildly positive reviews about High on the Hog will lead to more funding of similar projects.
Lastly, the Equal Justice Initiative has excellent web content around Juneteenth – check it out here and consider donating to EJI: On Jun 19, 1865: Juneteenth (eji.org)
Happy Friday! What is better than a Friday during the summer?! The sun is shining, the kids are under the watchful eye of their teachers, and it feels like so much is possible 😊 This weekend, I’m looking forward to seeing some friends, a kiddie playdate, and, fingers crossed, a little time for some reading and podcast-listening!
I hope everyone has something going on this summer that they are SO looking forward to. There is something so magical about anticipation – to me, it often trumps the event itself! Right now, I’m giddy about our upcoming trip to MN! If you can possibly imagine, it will be the first time my sister meets my youngest child! And, the first time my mom will see him since he was 2 weeks old. An entire person has developed, and my closest family has only witnessed it via Facetime (big shoutout to Facetime – so grateful to live in a world where you exist- Xoxo.)
I keep reflecting about the fact that it has been a year since the murder of Breonna Taylor and George Floyd (a year!), and it makes me wonder what have we accomplished? What’s next? Codeswitch recently did a podcast episode reflecting on this very topic, and, in particular, white people’s journey with racial reckoning. This episode resonated so much with me especially as I examine my own journey. Yes, I’ve committed to educating myself and sharing my learnings, but so what? How do we translate this work into action? Here’s the episode: The Racial Reckoning That Wasn’t : Code Switch : NPR
I don’t have a great answer now, but this is where my mind is at. I want to take this year of conscious learning and see how I can find a way to make it more actionable. I find myself quick to point to the excuse that I have so many tiny dependents occupying all of my “free time”, but maybe I need to work on reframing that. What can we do with our time that advances the commitment to #blacklivesmatter #powertoprivilege #courageousconversations? Please tell me your ideas!
Be well,
Jessica
PS – I highly recommend How the Word is Passed by Clint Smith and Somebody’s Daughter by Ashley C. Ford. I don’t really know how to work the Instagram, but I was so giddy when Clint Smith re-tweeted (??) my shout out to him about his book! Love you @clintsmith!! (my husband tells me hashtags and @ signs don’t work here… as if I even know what that means … #help. My 6 year old asks me if I lived during the “olden days”, and I’ve started to answer “yes, yes I did”.)
“A Best friend isn’t a person, its a tier” – Mindy Kaling
Hello hello,
This entry needed a lead-in quote to help explain my view of friendship and how incredibly blessed I am to have so many awesome best friends in my life. I remember a distinct moment at the office in my first job out of college. After a couple months of telling stories to my coworkers about my ‘best friend’, it became clear to them that I couldn’t possibly be talking about one person. Finally someone asked me, ‘so who’s this best friend that does everything and is everywhere?” I know I don’t remember the exact words of that exchange, but I guarantee that I can still remember precisely how I felt in that moment which was an overwhelming sense of gratitude! I am so fortunate to have a tier of best friends. I cannot quantify the dividends that my best friend tier has returned to me over the last 20 years! (Also, I cannot believe I just typed a 2 followed by a 0 to describe anything in relation to my life because I still feel 17 years old.)
That said, one of my beautiful best friends recently recommended the most phenomenal and impactful Netflix series that I’ve consumed in a long time. The docuseries is called High on the Hog, and it’s a MUST WATCH (I know everyone is relieved it’s not another podcast. I can branch out with the help of my friends!) As we approach Juneteenth, I can’t think of a better show to teach us about the history of African American cuisine in America, a cuisine whose roots cannot be decoupled from the history of slavery. My overwhelming sense as I watch this series is a recognition of the complete underappreciation of the mastery of African cuisine. Present day African food is complex and challenging – the preparation of which far exceeds the attention span of most Westerners (myself included!) Sometimes it is oversimplified through the lens of an entire continent when the variation within each country is immense. And to see how the docuseries traces what we consider to be “soul food” in America to its origin in Africa is both obvious and nuanced.
Happy Memorial Day weekend! I hope everyone has something planned that will give them energy and feed their soul! I continue to fall behind on sharing ideas and content on this site. While I’m full of explanations for why that is, there’s no excuse as our work here is far from done. It’s been a year since the murder of George Floyd. While Derek Chauvin has been held accountable through the judicial process, accountability is not synonymous with justice.
As I’ve embarked on my own journey this past year, a few things have become apparent:
My formal education left out A LOT of crucial pieces of history
My own privilege is more pervasive than I could have imagined or could have acknowledged before
The atmosphere in the corporate spaces I’ve occupied has shifted for the better – more transparent conversations, space to feel/express, acknowledging the work to be done
We need to continue to put power to our privilege, name the injustices we observe, and have the tough conversations.
Pressing on, I have to share Part 2 of the Adam Grant series on race at work. In this episode, How to Bust Bias at Work: Transcript | WorkLife | Podcasts | TED, Adam outlines one technique we can use to combat our biases. If you mentally swap out the person in a given situation, do you trigger the same unconscious reaction? For example, when Serena Williams slams her racket during a tennis match, too many people think of the stereotype of angry-black woman. But, if we keep the situation exactly the same and replace Serena with Rodger Federer, we call him a passionate competitor. It’s a great way to gut check a reaction to see if it’s valid or possibly rooted in unconscious bias.
Things have been busy around here! I feel like I’ve just been hanging onto the bumper of a speeding car the last few weeks, and I haven’t dedicated time here. But, I’ve heard some amazing podcast episodes – check out the links below:
Here we are again… this time the excuse is that the officer mistook her gun for her taser. A young father is gone, and I’m incredibly sad for the partner / mother left to raise a little boy and explain the harsh reality of this country for people who look like him.
I find it frustrating when I hear people say, “Policing is a hard job. There’s so much uncertainty and danger.” That may be true, but then why aren’t police mistaking their guns for their taser during routine traffic stops of white people? Or shooting little white boys at the park who are playing with plastic guns? It would be a practical excuse if excessive force were distributed uniformly. However, we all know that’s not the case. Bias trumps extensive training. Bias trumps 25 years of experience. Bias wins. Again.
We should not be shocked by the results of the current policing system. If you look into the history of policing in America, you’ll quickly realize we haven’t progressed as much as we’d like to think. NPR’s Throughline put out an episode last Wednesday (before Daunte Wright’s murder) called Policing in America that really blew my mind. Like every topic I explore, my first thought is how TF do I not know this history. My second thought is everyone needs to know this! Here’s the episode and I implore you to listen:
National Guardsmen questioning an African American man in Chicago, during the summer race riots of 1919.
In the episode, historian Khalil Gibran Muhammad walks through the origin story of modern day policing beginning with his own f*cked up encounter with police while in college. He then explains the early slave patrols, early 20th century race riots, Prohibition’s impact on law enforcement, how science and culture perpetuate bad policing, and so much more.
Toward the end of the episode, the host asks Khalil what is his vision for the future of policing and how do we turn the tide given the deep history. Khalil’s response is thought provoking – he quotes a social scientist who outlines all of the reports of the race riots across the country from 1919, 1935, 1943, 1965, and the fact that the reports are identical – “the same analysis, the same recommendations, and the same inaction.” The first report from the race riots in Chicago in 1919 articulated the problem of police racism in America (which was an extension of white citizen’s racism). 100 years later and we are having the same conversation. Khalil says, “That gives me clarity not to have the same aspirational faith that simply pointing out the problem today is sufficient to fixing it because the problem has been known for a century. The evidence has been presented for a century. The recommendations for change, for holding police officers accountable, for charging them with criminal offenses when they behave criminally, for establishing citizen review boards that have an independent investigative power… it’s a century of the same story playing out over and over again. So when you ask me the question, what do I think about this moment, what’s possible in this moment? It seems to me that what’s possible is recognizing that police officers and police agencies are incapable of fixing themselves. They’ve never been able to do it, and they’ve never been particularly compelled to do it…and so the question that has to be asked is… Do white people in America still want the police to protect their interests over the rights and dignity and lives of black, and in too many cases, brown, indigenous, and Asian populations in this country?… If they want a different outcome, they are going to have to demand a different outcome.”
Happy April! We are excited to start a new routine next week – my kindergartener will go to in-person school for the first time, and my toddler will go to daycare! It will be the first time in over a year that all 3 kids will be out of the house, and we are pumped!
April is National Poetry Month, and our girl Amanda Gorman’s book The Hill We Climb was recently released. Don’t forget to pick up a copy 🙂
In another nod to poetry month, the Codeswitch podcast did a beautiful episode featuring the works of multiple poets – check it out here:
The universe is definitely conspiring to ensure I learn about the history of tipping in America! The history of tipping has come up in two different podcasts this week, and I’m just baffled that I had no idea about the origin of this ubiquitous practice! Did you know that tipping originated as a way to justify not paying freed black people a wage for their work despite the end of slavery? What?! Did you know there was an anti-tipping movement akin to the temperance movement, and that between 1909 – 1915, six states had anti-tipping laws?! I’ve learned more than I ever thought I would about the National Restaurant Associated (lovingly referred to as “the other NRA”), the Pullman Car Company, and the present day struggle to pay restaurant employees a livable wage. (Is this taught in schools? Did I miss this day in history class?)
I can’t help but think about how the industry has changed so much since 1915… hello DoorDash and GrubHub and Instacart (should I continue?). There are new service jobs popping up thanks to the advancements in technology that continue to perpetuate the reliance of the employees on the generosity of the the American public. I will admit, I’m a super user of these services (#toomanykids #tiredmom #sendwine), but I feel torn. By using these services/restaurants, I guess I am complicit in the business model that keeps employee wages low and employer profits inflated. But by not using these services, these jobs wouldn’t be available to those who want/need them. So I offer two solutions – until the federal/state minimum wages are revised to include restaurant workers (40% of which are people of color), tip generously! And second, think about voting for officials who are pushing for a livable wage.
My heart is heavy as we continue to grieve the loss of life as the result of the horrific hate crime in Atlanta last Tuesday. I’m feeling helpless and powerless; I’m feeling extra aware of my own privilege in that I don’t have to worry about being gunned down because of my race. There’s so much here to unpack – like the dehumanization of Asian women as a tenant of white supremacy. Dehumanization is a theme throughout the history of racism, and that’s been amplified throughout this pandemic. The flawed thought process = Covid-19 originated in China = Asian Americans are the cause of my hardship = bold, racist acts against Asian American Pacific Islanders (AAPI). Here’s an article and a podcast with more info on the topic:
Ultimately, it comes down to a key topic in my mind: gun control. I’m not here to argue that no one should have a gun (I’m from MN where everyone partakes in deer hunting) or everyone should have a gun. But, something that we should all be paying attention to is the fact that the killer in the Atlanta shooting purchased his gun on the same day that he committed the murders, AND in Georgia, you cannot submit your ballot on the same day you register to vote. Why on Earth are we pursuing stricter voter suppression laws while ignoring the lack of controls around gun procurement? Step one: be aware of these discrepancies!
I just finished a book called You’ll Never Believe What Happened to Lacey – Crazy Stories about Racism by Amber Ruffin & Lacey Lamar. Amber Ruffin is a comedian, and in 2014, she became the first Black woman to write for a late-night network talk show in the US (on Late Night with Seth Meyers). Think about that for a minute… 2014?!? 2014 was yesterday. Lacey Lamar is Amber’s sister, and they grew up in Omaha, NE. The sisters share many stories from their lives that highlight racist interactions with a comedic retelling. The book provides a personal view into the day-to-day lives of Black women in very white spaces… (ahem, Omaha…)
While the whole book had me simultaneously laughing out loud and shaking my head, I have to share this snippet:
“The gym teacher who we all hated at school also worked at the local bowling alley … Our brother, Jimmy, absolutely loves video games and would go there to play them as much as he could. One day, Jimmy took a bunch of coins to the bowling alley. Nothing special about the coins. Mostly quarters with some silver dollars or fifty-cent pieces mixed in. When he paid for his food with these coins, Mr. Gym Teacher called the cops. Because he had never seen a silver dollar or a fifty-cent piece, he accused Jimmy of using counterfeit coins. He accused a child of inventing a special denomination of coin, minting it, and using it to buy hot dogs. When I think about this I wonder, How in the f*ck did this man, the dumbest human being alive, have two jobs?”
I know what you’re thinking… can I laugh at stories about racism? I personally think that it depends. If you’re laughing because you agree Mr. Gym Teacher is the dumbest human alive then yes – laugh away. We are laughing in solidarity with Jimmy. If you’re inclined to laugh at little Jimmy who had the cops called on him – no, no you should not laugh (rather, you should to back to the beginning of this blog and consume every book, article, and podcast as a means to begin a journey of self-education about racism, just a suggestion) . All joking aside, I think Amber and Lacey have successfully demonstrated the absurdity of racism, and they give the reader a lot to think about while doing so in an entertaining fashion.
PS In case you’re in need of a podcast fix, check out last week’s episode of This American Life – it follows 3 activists within the BLM movement: Warriors in the Garden (thisamericanlife.org)
